


Trash Meets Trash

by takkatash



Category: Haikyuu!!, Mystic Messenger (Video Game), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Awkwardness, Crossover, Cute, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Soju, multifandom - Freeform, trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 11:58:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8161339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takkatash/pseuds/takkatash
Summary: “I am you but prettier.”  Oikawa and Lance accidentally meet each other because they're super dumb and get separated from Iwaizumi and Keith who also meet each other WHAT ARE THE ODDS!





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure there's like 130948103240000 typos and lots of spelling errors and what even is grammar but I didn't really want to edit it because it's like 6k words SOOOOOOO pls be nice ty  
> Also the Mystic Messenger characters come in at the end, they're not exactly the mains in this ((((((: they were a last minute thing because MY SONS  
> (((((((: some of it may also make no sense ok bye

“Shit shit shit shit.” Lance weaved through the crowd. He searched frantically for a black hoodie with an emo aura. Nope, everyone was in colours. “Fuck not again.” He jumped out of the throng of bodies. He had managed to lose Keith. Again. For the third time. Today. He wasn’t really looking where he was going so when he felt his back hit into a very sharp shoulder blade, he wasn’t surprised. He was surprised however when that shoulder blade’s body toppled on top of him.

 

“Iwaaaaa chaaan!” Oikawa was searching through the crowd of people who had rushed into the planetarium, separating him and Iwaizumi. Or at least that’s what he liked to believe when in actual fact it was him who ran towards the stars and left his friend behind. He was running towards a figure with spiky-porcupine hair when his shoulder collided with something hard—and then he was falling on top of that thing he collided with.

 

To anyone else, it would look like two lovers who hadn’t seen each other in MONTHS had finally met up and that their burning passion for each other overrode their morals because well…Oikawa was lying on top of Lance, hands on either side of his face, foreheads almost touching and lips _definitely_ touching.

 

“FUCCCCCKKKKKK!” Oikawa jumped back. Whoever they were, their lips were very warm, not warm like Iwaizumi’s though, but still warm. Also soft, they were soft.

“That didn’t happen that didn’t happen that didn’t happen.” Lance was still on the ground. Keith never had to know.

“Oh it happened alright.” Oikawa looked around nervously. “Okay he’s not here thank fu- OHMYGOD!!!” Oikawa eye’s scanned the body on the floor. “I KNOW YOU.” There was no mistaking it. Tanned skin, a couple of shades darker than Iwaizumi, beneath a white t-shirt matched with a shabby army coloured jacket; and brown hair cut somewhere between short, medium and a train wreck. His face kind of looked like a mix of Abu from Aladdin and George from Curious George. “IT’S YOU!”

 

“Who are yo-”

“Iwa-chan says I’m like you but.” Oikawa looked Lance up and down as he got up, in the clumsiest way ever may he add because he tripped about three more times on air as he tried to straighten himself out. “I don’t see it.”

“Seriously. Who even are-” Lance dusted himself off but when he looked up again, and took in the disgustingly perfect hairdo and sparkling eyes he did a double take. It was the guy Allura was always comparing him to. “You.”

“I am you but prettier.”

There was a moment of silence.

 

“Shit.” Lance grimaced. “That was good.”

“I know.” Oikawa straightened his uniform.

“Hmm. I’ll agree on the prettier bit but like, pretty sure I’m better with the ladies.” He scratched his head. Is that what Allura said? It was either ‘even you can flirt better’ or ‘even _I_ can flirt better’ and as far as Lance knew, she was straight as fuck for Shiro. His thoughts however were interrupted by Oikawa’s deafening laughter.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no.”

“Yes?” Lance crossed his arms.

“No.” Oikawa crossed his too.

“Oh yeah?” Lance glanced around. “I dare you to get her number.” He nodded towards a girl, stout in size and wearing an alien emoji jumper four times too big for even her.

 

“What am I getting out of this again?” Oikawa watched the girl. _She doesn’t look that intimidating._

“Satisfaction.” He thought for a second then added. “Of being the very best…that no one ever was.” He was almost singing the last few words and Oikawa joined in as well.

“Okay but Iwa-chan will KILL me.” Oikawa stopped himself.

“Wow. Scared already?” Lance smirked. “Back down volleyball hoe. I’ll do it then.”

“Excuse me. I am _not_ a hoe, you brainless space nerd. Plus, you’ll just scare her.” He turned towards the girl in the far corner. “Iwa-chans gonna kill me.” He sung the last bit under his breath.

“'Iwa-chan' never has to know.” Lance pat Oikawa on the shoulder ' _and I’m pretty sure you’re the space nerd, nerd.'_ But of course he never actually said that out loud. 

 

“Bro.” Oikawa turned back to Lance before slapping himself. He was spending too much time with Bokuto and Kuroo, soon he would be saying oyaoyaoyaoya.

“Bro. I gotchu. I’ll get someone’s too if it makes you feel less like a slut.”

“I bet I can get more.” Oikawa grinned devilishly.

“Ten minutes.”

“Person with the least has to buy lunch.” Oikawa spun on his heel but Lance yanked him back with his shirt. It looked like they were either brothers, best friends, or boyfriends—or all of those but that’s some incest right there.

“I’m timing it.” Lance let go of his grip. “Just letting you know. I have a big appetite.”

“So do I.”

“Oh you’re on.” Lance’s voice faded and Oikawa looked back for a split second to find that the little space fetus was gone.

“Shit.” And with that, Oikawa skipped towards the girl in the alien jumper with his phone in hand, his phone with the very same phone case as her jumper. Well hey, if she wasn’t interested at least they had something in common to talk about.

 

 

 

And in the meantime, outside the dome, another friendship was blooming. It was a friendship built on the hatred for their five-year-old boyfriends who had gotten lost for the umpteenth time today. By some very lucky fate, or maybe the stars aligned **(or maybe I just want Iwa and Keith to bond over how fucking dumb their boyfriends are ((((: )** Keith and Iwaizumi had met. And unlike Oikawa and Lance, these two had met under normal circumstances. Normal meaning, rather than kissing they had approached each other after recognising each other.

 

“Can I have a photo with you?” An unfamiliar voice spoke from directly behind Iwaizumi’s ear making him jump way too high for someone who was as stoic as him.

“Um.” He turned around slowly and found himself staring into a pair of eyes that were uncomfortably close to his own. He took a shaky step back so that he could get a better look at his face. He was welcomed with a black hair styled lazily into an almost-mullet. Kuroo would be disappointed. 

“I just really want to make my boyfriend jealous that I got a photo with one of his favourite characters.” The guy flipped out his phone and Iwaizumi, finally, recognised his red jacket. He was from that stupid space show that Bokuto and Oikawa watched _every week_.

“Are you-”

“Sorry this is probably really fucking weird but I just need one picture.” He stepped closer again and grabbed Iwaizumi’s shoulder, pulling him in for a photo. Instinctually, he flashed a smile which, after he saw the photo, somehow looked like a grimace.

“I need one too.” Iwaizumi got his phone too. “I don’t know your name but I know my b- friend…my _friend_ loves your show.” The kid looked dumbfounded, Iwaizumi wasn’t sure whether it was because he didn’t know his name or because he was genuinely shocked.

 

 _He doesn’t know my name_. Keith clenched his jaw together and forced a grin. He froze for the photo and then stepped away immediately after Iwaizumi pocketed the phone.

“My name is Keith.” Keith was trying very hard not to get angry, Allura had told him that it was apparently not acceptable to use his Bayard in public. He was too used to punching someone when he was mad, almost always Lance though.

“Oh…oh. OHHHHH yeah no you’re not his favourite. You’re the red rocket right?” Iwaizumi guessed by the colour of his jacket and Keith nodded. “Nah he likes the black one. Like…LOVES him.”

“Everyone does.” Keith was fine with that. As long as no one was in love with Lance it was alright. "And it's not a fucking  _rocket_  it's a  _LION._ " Keith decided that maybe the guy was a little blind. 

“It’s a really unhealthy addiction though. Almost worse than volleyball. He’s _always_ watching you guys but he shouldn’t because he has uni exams soon an-” He stopped himself. What the fuck? Why was he telling some random kid this?

 

Keith didn’t comment on it. He did that a lot when he was talking about Lance’s unhealthy obsessions or just…Lance in general to be honest. Everything he did was annoying, it was beyond him how he even began to have the tiniest feelings for the guy.

“Trust me, Allura’s obsession with you guys is probably worse. She reads all these stories, fanfics I think? But holy fuck there’s some real real REAL bad shit in there and she’s spreading it to Lance. Which is a bad fucking idea because he wants to try some kinky shit he reads and it’s like…it doesn’t work…like that.” Keith spoke quickly and Iwaizumi wasn’t sure if it was because he was nervous or because that’s just how he spoke. But he laughed at that. Kinky shit. Yes, Tooru takes the cake for that one.

“He wore a cowboy outfit once.” Iwaizumi shuddered at the memory.

“At least that’s normal. THIS GUY DRESSED UP AS A GHALRA AND IT WAS THE MOST-…there were rocks and shit sticking from- nope.” Keith winced. He literally ran out of the room that night. Iwaizumi felt sorry for him.

“At least that’s a living thing, I think? My shitface got a bunch of old volleyballs and wrapped it around himself for Halloween.” Iwaizumi scrunched his nose. “Smelt like shit.”

“Holy fuck. Well, Lance once wrapped himself in seaweed because, and I quote, ‘you eat sushi. I am now sushi.’ I don’t eat seaweed anymore. Plus I eat _kimbap_ not sushi!” Keith exclaimed.

 

“They’re so dumb.” Iwaizumi was hoping the kid wouldn’t pick up on the fact that he called Tooru ‘my’ shitface.

“Can you imagine them together?”

“…For some reason, I have a bad feeling about this.” Iwaizumi looked into the planetarium.

“Don’t tell me you lost him inside.”

_"Fuck."_

 

 

 

“Yahoo~ Lancey-chan.” Oikawa came skipping to their little meeting spot in front of the space-coin creator. “I got four.” Lance looked away and Oikawa smirked. “How many did you get Lancey-chan.”

“Okay. Firstly, don’t _ever_ call me that again. Secondly, I got…” The last part was inaudible and Oikawa puffed out his chest.

“Sorry.” Oikawa leant in and cupped his ear. “Didn’t quite catch that.”

“None.” Lance said loud enough for just Oikawa to hear. The older boy grinned, pleased with himself, and leant away.

 

“Say I’m better.” Oikawa crossed his arms and leant against the machine.

“No?” Lance looked at him incredulously.

“ _Say it_.”

“Pretty sure it wasn’t part of the deal.” Lance wasn’t giving in. In no way was Oikawa the better one. Plus, he would have gotten tonnes of numbers if the first girl he approached wasn’t so rude enough to call Security because he was ‘acting weird.’

“You owe me lunch.” Oikawa skipped ahead.

“I know.” Lance grunted and started after the twinkle eyed brunette a few steps ahead of him.

 

 

 

“I think I saw them.” Iwaizumi stood on his toes and stretched himself as much as he could.

“By the coin thing?” Keith was on his toes as well.

“Wait…they’re gone.” Iwaizumi stood back down. They looked at each other and spoke in unison. “Fuck.”

“I really _really reeeaaalllyyyyyy_ don’t have a good feeling about this.” Keith flipped out his phone. Time to call his airheaded boyfriend for the 500 th time.

“I’ve been having that feeling all morning.” Iwaizumi looked down at his phone. He wasn’t wasting more credit by texting shitty-kawa. “Let’s go back outside.”

 

They didn’t talk. It was quiet, but not uncomfortable. He didn’t know why but he liked Keith which was surprising because even the first time he met Makki and Mattsun he wanted to shove a volleyball up their asses; he didn’t, of course, he just threw it to the back of their heads-the shoving shit up their asses they can do for each other. He liked Keith because well, the guy didn’t speak. As strange as that sounded, it was nice. There wasn’t any forced conversation to make small talk. They just walked side by side. It was peaceful.

 

Iwa guessed they were similar, he looked cold but he was kind of cool.

“I sang this song once.” Iwaizumi waited for a reaction. It took about ten seconds and he watched Keith’s face transform from calm to absolutely flustered as he began choking on the drink they had bought along the way. “Back in middle school I think. I only sang the first half. I sang it to Oikawa.” Iwa felt a smile creep across his face while Keith began wheezing. He was having some trouble; the first one was imagining this tall, tanned hunk of a guy singing P!nk, and the second imaging how dense Oikawa had to be not to realise that he liked him. “He made me promise not to sing again.” He knew he wasn’t the best singer but he didn’t think he was that bad.

 

“Did you punch him?” Keith managed to get out between wheezes.

“No.” Iwaizumi thought for a second before adding. “But I did throw the remote at his head.”

“I would have beat the shit out of Lance.” Keith recovered from choking. “Which I did. In training. It was great.” Keith grinned at the memory and Iwaizumi laughed at that. “But then I made up for it because I cooked food. And he’s too lazy to hold grudges sooo...”

“I wish Tooru was lazy because _fuck_ can he hate someone for a long time.” Iwaizumi took a long slurp of his drink. “Six years. He hated someone for six years. Plus, I can’t cook.”

“Shit.” Keith imagined Lance actually holding a grudge.

“For the record though, the guy was an ass. He has  _no_ emotional bone in his body at all. But I’ll nevertell that to Tooru.”

“Why?”

“Someone needs to make sure he’s not a pampered brat.”

 

“I think all of us tell Lance that. He’s not spoiled though just really fucking dumb. Like I love them and all but I don’t really want to die in a giant metal lion in a part of space that hasn’t been discovered yet.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“It’s actually life or death for you guys.”

They went quiet before Keith spoke again. “Well…I trust them. Lance may be dumb but…he wouldn’t let anything happen to us.” Keith sounded so matter-of-factly that it scared Iwaizumi. “This took a depressing and disgustingly gay turn.”

“That it did.”

“Let’s just talk about more dumb stuff they’ve done.”

 

 

 

“I didn't know BBQ's sold milk-bread!” Oikawa’s eyes twinkled as he leaned over the table and grabbed the piece in front of Lance.

“That was mine.” Lance didn’t bother arguing though. He was exhausted from ordering about $300 worth of food. But he didn’t pay yet, that’s what Keith was for.

“Still want it?” Oikawa licked it before holding it out to Lance. Little did he know that Lance also has ZERO chill.

“Okay.” Lance held out his hand and Oikawa made a disgusted face before dropping it in the other boy’s palm. Lance grinned as he ate the piece in one go.

“YOU ACTUALLY ATE IT WHAT THE FUCK?!” Oikawa’s jaw hit the table and Lance just winked at him before putting meat onto the grill.

 

“I’m probably going to burn these.” Lance put down the tongs.

“You’re _definitely_ going to burn it.” A deep voice sounded from beside his ear.

“Oh my god.” Oikawa’s mouth opened and closed like a fish.

“Close your mouth when you eat stupid-kawa.”

“IWA CHAAAN!” Oikawa jumped up, half because he was excited and half because he was terrified of the look on Iwa’s face. _He fucked up_.

“I am a fine cook thank you very much.” Lance flipped over some meat as Keith slid into the booth beside him. “Hunk would be proud.” He muttered under his breath and Keith scoffed.

“Yeah. You can barbeque meat. Wow. Such an accomplishment.” Keith grabbed the tongs out of Lance’s hands.

“You ran away.” Iwa sat down beside Oikawa who was still standing.

“Um no?” Oikawa sat his ass down nervously. He twiddled his fingers. “We got separated in the field-…group crowd thing of people.”

“FIELD!” Lance repeated before bursting into laughter.

“Smooth.” Keith spoke only loud enough for Lance to hear which had him laugh some more.

“Group crowd thing.” Iwa repeated to no one in particular. “You’re so dumb.”

“IWA CHAN! You’re supposed to be on my side!” Oikawa whined and grabbed Iwa’s arm. The black haired boy flicked him off. He was tired. He sunk down in his seat and watched Lance and Oikawa bicker over who’s side Iwa was on while Keith just silently cooked the meat — he noticed that the kid would occasionally shoot Lance dagger eyes every time his name was dragged into the conversation.

 

About ten minutes passed and Iwa was almost dozing off when a plate slammed in front of him. He opened his eyes to see Keith glare at him almost pleadingly: ‘you can’t leave me with these idiots’ they said. Iwa licked his lips and sat up. He dived into the food when he zoned in on what Oikawa and Lance were loudly discussing.

 

“You think that’s bad? You should have been there when I told Iwa-chan that I loved him.” Oikawa glanced at Iwa sideways. His eyes twinkled and Iwa’s face went the shade of Tendou’s hair.

“Can’t be as bad as the time Keith first kissed me.” Lance snapped his head to Keith and the poor boy was the same colour as his outfit.

“That- I-…It was Allura’s idea…” Keith mumbled before stuffing food in his mouth.

“Oooh a first kiss.” Oikawa leant in closer. “I gotta hear this.”

“If I tell you then you have to tell us what happened when you confessed.” Lance stuck out his hand.

“Deal.” Oikawa clasped Lance’s hand.

 

“Okay so we had a whole day of training, not combat training like legit Voltron forming training because we still didn’t have it all down pat right? And Keithy over here wasn’t really feeling it because he was being all depressed that we forgot his birthday the day before. So he stormed off and no one really went after him because…he’s _scary_. Like really fucking scary when he’s mad. And the only person who was nice enough was Allura so-”

“NOPE!” Keith shoved a piece of meat in Lance’s mouth to shut him up. He was about to stuff another one when he felt a pair of hands grab his wrists. He realised those arms were connected to Oikawa. _Damn. Pretty ball boy aint weak._ He tugged at his hands. If he pulled hard enough he knew he could get away but the look on Iwaizumi’s face was…weird. Like he wasn’t interested but he still wanted to hear the story. And Keith wasn’t sure he’d be able to escape Iwaizumi’s grip. He could see the guy’s biceps through his jacket already, he'd give Shiro a run for his money...he didn’t want to mess with that.

 

“It’s not even that bad. It’s kind of cute.” Lance pay Keith on the head. Keith hissed at him and Iwaizumi let out a little giggle. The kid was cute. But Oikawa was staring at him. Iwa doesn’t really laugh but when he does it’s like heaven on Earth.

“Heaven aye?” Lance grinned. “Like Keith basically.”

“Did I?...” Oikawa blushed.

“Yeah, you did.” Keith spoke matter-of-factly hoping that the brunette’s grip would loosen but it got tighter instead.

 

“ANYWAY. Back to the story.” Keith took a sip of water. “They disappeared for a while and we just went back to our rooms because it was hot and summer in a giant Castle in the middle of space is boiling. So I showered and changed into sweats and THIS HOE came in to my _bed_ room and dragged me to the training thing. And he threw me my Bayard and was like FIGHT ME? And I was like no obvs I just took a fucking shower.” Lance was speeding up and Oikawa was listening intently while nodding. “AND HE SLAMS ME TO THE FUCKING GROUND AND LIKE kind of straddles me? I guess. And he just says _I’m gonna kiss you and you’re going to like it_.” Keith sat back but Oikawa was still leaning forward on his elbows. “And so I kissed him...and _then_...he ran away.”

 

Oikawa burst out laughing and even Iwaizumi joined. They looked across to the spot where Keith was but the kind-of-mullet boy had disappeared. He ran away to the bathroom because well…it was embarrassing. And it wasn’t even his fault, Allura told him to do it. Plus, Lance had left out a pretty monumental thing: the reason why Keith ran out of the training room.

 

 

 

 

**FLASHBACK**

Keith crossed his arms at glared at Allura.

“I don’t have a _crush._ ”

“Yeah…sure and mice can't talk.” Allura rolled her eyes and Keith stared at her dubiously...Mice can't actually talk. She tapped her foot on the ground, time to use a different approach. “Look. When Pidge was fucked with his family, you couldn’t form Voltron remember? WELL IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN BUT THIS TIME IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU! Dumb ass motherfucking hoe.” She's been beginning to speak like Lance. He was poisoning everyone. 

“WHA- NO IT’S NOT-” 

“Yes…Yes it is.” Allura crossed her arms and Keith looked down.

“Fuck.” Keith dropped his arms by his side. “What do I do.”

“Just _tell him_.”

 

Keith’s eyes deadpanned before he started laughing hysterically.

“Tell…him…” He wiped the tears from his eyes. “Are you stupid? I can’t tell him!” He waved his hands in the air exasperatedly.

“Why not?”

“Be- cause…he’d just think it’s a joke or something.”

“I swear to Altea.” She massaged her forehead. “TELL HIM.”

“Okay but, how? It’s not like I can just go up to him and be like ‘hey asshole, yeah you. I kind of have a _crush_ on you so I treat you like shit.’”

 

Allura rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Just shove him against a wall and kiss him.” Allura’s eyes twinkled.

“…that’s not going to wo-”

“Trust me. It works for everyone else.” She thought of all the times she’d read it on AO3.

“Okay.” He stood still and thought for a second. “Okay.”

“Go.”

“Wait what? NOW?” Keith seemed flustered.

“Yes now. You’ve made up your mind. You can’t give yourself a second to change it.”

“Okay.”

 

There was a moment of silence. Allura waved her hands for him to leave. Sighing in defeat, he spun on his heal and made his way towards his room. Determined, he grabbed his jacket and made a beeline towards the kitchen to find Lance. And he did, find Lance that is.

 

“What are yo-”

We need to train, and I have something to tell you; or at least that’s what Keith wanted to say but what came out was more of a: “You. Training. Now.”

Lance was halfway through eating a sandwich made from some goop as he was dragged out of the room.

 

“It’s happening~” Hunk sang as he put away the dishes.

“Well it’s not like he could hold it in forever.” Pidge stood up from the table.

“Let’s go watch.” Hunk left the room and Pidge followed.

“This way.” Allura appeared behind them and tugged them in the opposite direction from the echoing sound of Lance’s wails. “Control room.”

“Aaahhh.” Pidge grinned. “Smart.”

“Wait what.” Hunk was lost.

“We’re going to record it.” Pidge explained.

“Blackmail material.” Allura grinned proudly.

“Oh.”

 

“Keith what the FUCK.” Lance gathered himself up from the floor. “I was _eating_.”

“I want to train.” Keith grabbed his bayard.

“So?” Lance looked around for his bayard and was surprised when Keith threw it at him.

“And you _need_ to train.”

“Well that’s a little rude.” Lance took off his jacket and kicked it across the floor. “I’m a pretty good fighter.”

“Yeah. Just like you’re a pretty good pilot.” Keith scoffed and threw his jacket away too which, accidentally, hooked onto his bayard and took it across the floor as well. He looked up to find Lance’s face slightly crestfallen. But as soon as they met eyes the Latino had his dubious smile again.

“No bayards then.” Lance slid his bayard across the floor as well.

“I don’t want to kill you.” Keith cracked his knuckles.

 

“You sound like that white guy from your game. Narcissistic asshole.” And with that Lance lunged forward, fist flying towards Keith’s jaw.

“Seriously?” Keith grabbed his wrist and let it fly past his head before twisting Lance’s arm behind his back. “You should hear yourself when you get out of the shower.”

“I _am_ beautiful though.” Lance snaked his foot around the back of Keith’s knee and pulled his leg forward. He spun around to see Keith on his knees. His cheeks grew pink and he glanced away. That was when he realised he made a mistake.

 

Keith sprung off his knees, and tackled Lance to the ground. Swiftly, he pinned Lance’s arms above his head and pressed his legs together with his feet.

“For fucks sake.” Lance tried pushing his arms up before giving up and letting his head fall back against the floor.

“Well that was quick.” Keith stared down at Lance. “Fuck now I have to say it.”

“Say what?”

Keith started to grind his teeth. What was it that Allura told him to say?

“I’m going to…f- kiss you.” Keith bent forward. “And you’re going to like it.”

 

Silence.

 

“HAHAHAHA I DON’T THINK THAT’S HOW IT GOES!” Lance had tears pouring out of his eyes with laughter.

“Shuttup.” Keith hissed before smashing his lips against Lance’s.

 

It was about now that Keith realised he had no idea what he was doing. Was he supposed to just keep his mouth closed? Should he open his lips?

 _What is happening_.

 

Lance on the other hand pressed his head back towards the ground. _Keith can’t kiss for shit_. It felt like a piece of bark crushing his mouth.

Lance muttered when Keith pulled away. “Jesus Christ you suck at this.”

“What?” Keith sat back up.

 _Ah, there it is_. Keith’s infamous confused puppy-dog eyes.

 

Lance sighed before grabbing the back of Keith’s head and smashing their faces together again. Keith’s lips weren’t as dry anymore, he kind of felt like a marshmallow—a little crisp but a little soft. Lance felt Keith stiffen above him so smiling into the kiss, he used his other hand, the one not gripping Keith’s horrendous mullet, to press Keith’s body against his.

 

It was fairly obvious that Lance knew what he was doing from the way he forced Keith’s mouth open with his tongue. The Korean boy made a surprised sound and he felt his face heat up. It was strange, having a tongue that wasn’t his in his mouth. Very strange. But it wasn’t a bad strange. He kind of liked it.

 

Lance’s tongue traced the back of Keith’s teeth before running along the roof of his mouth. The whole time Keith had his hands on either side of Lance’s head. He was frozen. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to copy what just happened. So ignoring his gut instinct, the moment Lance started to retreat Keith plunged his tongue into Lance’s mouth.

 

After Lance made a sound somewhere between a groan and sounding like he was choking, he bit down on Keith’s tongue.

“WHAT ARE YOU? A FUCKING LIZARD?!” Lance wiped his mouth of the saliva string that had managed to attach their lips.

“Fuck you.” Keith hissed before kissing Lance again, harder this time.

 

He slipped his tongue into Lance’s mouth and this time, to Lance’s relief, he wasn’t a lizard. He was mimicking Lance from before and he could taste the sweetness of the goop from before. It was gross. He moved away from Lance’s teeth when suddenly he felt something twine around his tongue.

 

Keith froze. Their tongues were pressing against each other, dancing with each other, grinding with each other? Wait no, that was their hips. Keith had subconsciously pressed his _whole_ body against Lance’s and his crotch was rhythmically rubbing against the body under him. It was nice.

 

Lance thought it was ‘nice’ too. Too nice. Ignoring the feeling in his pants, he tugged on Keith’s hair. Bad idea, because the deep rumble that escaped Keith’s throat was a sound that the feeling in his pants could not ignore. Mentally slapping himself, he bit down on Keith’s lip. He groaned again.

“Fuck.” Lance’s head hit the floor. He felt like a horny twelve-year-old boy.

“Wha-…” Keith looked down before yelling, jumping up, and sprinting out of the room.

 

“Did he just…” Lance sat up and touched his crotch. “Shit.” He didn’t think it had gotten _that_ hard.

**FLASHBACK**

“Okay but at least you were sober and kinda had a filter.” Oikawa wiped away the tears from his eyes. “When I told Iwa-chan I loved him, he literally _fucking-_ Keithy come join us I’m about to tell a story.” Oikawa grinned and waited for Keith to slide back into the spot beside Lance

 

“Do we really have to do this?” Iwa stacked a pile of meat on a plate and continued grilling the rest.

“Yes.”

“Do you need to go to the bathroom?” Keith held his hand out for the tongs.

“I’m used to this.”

“That’s a little sad.”

 

“Okay well Makki and Mattsun threw a party for the team after we graduated. Kind of like a going away party because we go to different universities now and barely see each other but anyway back to the story. I was a little drun-”

“You were _smashed_.” Iwa didn’t look up from the table.

“But I was talking to him about having a crush on someone and that I’ve had a crush on him for aagggeess but I realised I loved him in high school-”

“Actually you said you loved him but only wanted to _fuck_ him in high school.”

“…Oh I’m sorry but did you want to tell the story instead?” Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi and he very quickly looked away. “That’s what I thought.”

“Please continue.” Lance was waiting for the part of the story where Iwaizumi fucks up.

 

“Okay so he was like, well you have nothing to lose so you should just go tell her how you feel.” Oikawa waited for the words to sink in to both Lance and Keith. “Her. _Her._ HER!”

“What type of friend are you?” Lance looked at Iwaizumi who was diligently cooking the food.

“RIGHT?! And I kind of lost my shit and was like _he_ has hideous spiky hair and semi decent spiking skills and sparkly eyes BUT that’s not even the good part. I told him that I didn’t know _how_ to confess and he was like ‘just tell them you love them’ right? But I was like, what if they don’t like me back. And he was all ‘you’re pretty I’m pretty sure Kindaichi wouldn’t _not_ like you.’ So I just turned to him, I _grabbed his shoulders_ and I looked him straight in the fucking eye and went…I love you.”

“Oh my god...He thought you liked Turnip-chan.” Lance sunk back in his seat. How pea-brained did you have to be to not get the idea. “What did he say?”

“Yes. Good boy. Now go say it to him. And then…he _pat me…_ on the head.”

“Jesus fucking Christ Hajime.” Keith real lowkey felt sorry for him. 

“I went and cried to Mattsun and Yahaba all night.”

 

“You horrible human.” Lance’s mouth was open in shock. So was Keith’s. He thought that Iwaizumi was a receptive person but clearly he was wrong.

“But it’s okay because he let me top the firs ti- OW.”

“Shut _up_.” Iwaizumi elbowed Tooru’s ribs. _He’s such a fucking idiot._

“I don’t really think you can talk though.” Keith glanced sideways at Lance. “The amount of times I straight up told you that I cared about you…and you just kind of went ‘pretty sure you hate me’ or ‘fight me bitch’ I swear to god I was on the verge of slicing off his head. I don’t even know why I love him to be honest HE FLIRTS WITH GIRLS ALL THE FUCKING TIME.”

“I _KNOW_ like um…I am right beside you. Your  _boyfriend_ is right BESIDE YOU.” Iwaizumi elbowed Tooru again.

“BUT THEY’RE NOT HUMANS???” Keith glared at Lance and he bit down on his tongue to stop him from kissing Keith then and there. He was cute when he got jealous.

“…I don’t know?” Iwaizumi looked at Tooru. He wouldn’t be surprised if the idiot left him for an alien.

 

“I WOULDN’T LEAVE YOU FOR AN ALIEN IWA-CHAN!” Tooru had his hand over his heart as if he was offended that Iwaizumi had such thoughts.

“I HEARD ALIEN.” An unfamiliar voice popped up from behind Lance and Keith. The voice belonged to a face framed with red hair that too was unfamiliar. The four boys watched as the face was dragged down by an unfamiliar hand.

“What the fuck Saeyoung. Don’t join other people’s conversations.”

“But…Aliens.” The red haired boy, Saeyoung, appeared from behind the seat again. 

“No.” Another face appeared this time. A boy with pink hair stood up and wrapped his hand around the red haired boy’s neck.

 

Oikawa almost stood up to interrupt them but Iwaizumi held him down.

“It’s none of our business.”

Keith, Lance, Oikawa and Iwaizumi watched them in silence. Keith was almost sure that he’d seen them before.

 

“Saeran-ah.” Saeyoung’s eyes twinkled mischievously before softening. “Not in public.” He reached up and pat Saeran’s head. It seemed to calm him down because he let go of the other boy’s neck and sat back down.

“Yup I’m leaving.” A boy from across their table stood up. He had white hair and when he turned to leave, his rat’s tail flicked the man sitting beside him in the face.

“No you’re not.” The man sitting beside him grabbed his jacket.

“Zen sit down.” Saeran rolled his eyes at Zen’s dramatic reactions. Why was he friend’s with them? But when he watched Saeyoung laugh at Jumin and Zen, he remembered why he gave in.

“You can’t stop me.” Zen hissed at them. “You guys are embarrassing as fuck.”

 

“I’ll top the fuck out of you.” Jumin didn’t let go of Zen’s jacket.

“You don’t scare me.” Zen scowled. Jumin let out a sigh and flipped out his phone with his free hand. He turned it on and shoved it in Zen’s direction. Zen winced and Saeyoung grinned before doing the same.

“I fucking hate you all.” Zen’s nose started running and he sneezed.

“Does Elly have magic powers or some shit?” Saeran picked at his food.

“Yes _Elizabeth third_ does have magical powers.” Jumin tool a swig out of the bottle of Pomegranate flavoured Soju.

“Elly is the incarnation of a Goddess.”

“I think you pronounced The Devil wrong.” Zen muttered under his breath before sculling the bottle of Andong Soju. Saeran watched him in disgust. It was beyond him how Zen could drink the whole bottle straight.

 

“That’s gonna hit you hard my friend.” Saeyoung said as he wrapped a piece of meat in a Perilla leaf.

“No it’s not. I will- shall be fiiine.” Zen was on his third bottle. He watched Saeyoung feed Saeran the wrapped meat. “Juminnie~ Bap jusaeyo!” He turned to Jumin and the man had the look of utmost disgust painted on his face.

“Don’t ever call me that again.” He clenched his jaw but Zen ignored him and waited with his mouth open. Sighing in defeat, he popped the wrapped meat into the kid’s mouth.

“Thanks hyung.” Zen smiled to himself and Jumin felt a blush creep across his cheeks.

“Gaesekiya...” Jumin mumbled at Zen before looking away.

 

“Well that was interesting.” Keith turned back to face Oikawa and Iwaizumi. Little did the guys at his table, or the people behind him know, that he understood that the black haired guy had basically swore at his boyfriend (or so he assumed). 

“Can you feed me?” Lance opened his mouth. Keith blushed before very timidly feeding Lance a piece of wrapped meat.

“Hey…Iwa-chan~”

“Don’t even ask.” Iwaizumi’s eyes deadpanned at Tooru’s expression. _I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not gi- FUCK._

Grinding his teeth, he brought the wrapped meat to Tooru’s mouth. Tooru closed his eyes. Iwaizumi shoved the leaf into Tooru’s mouth, a little further than he should have and the brunette began to choke. Iwaizumi let out a small giggle and Oikawa just stared at him before smiling softly.

 

“You two are really gay.” Keith watched their interaction.

“Hey we’re gay too.” Lance poked Keith in the ribs.

“I don’t know…I’d say I’m gayer.” Oikawa stuck his tongue out. 

“Not going to argue with that.” Keith laughed.

“We’re _all_ gay here.” Iwaizumi had the final word because his word was correct.

“WE’RE GAY TOO!” Saeyoung’s head popped up from behind again and Saeran dragged him down _again._  

“Sorry. My brother’s a little dumb.” Saeran apologised before the two heads disappeared again but you could still hear Saeran cursing his brother. “Di jillae?”

“Saeran-ah…”

“Shikuro.”

 

“…Let’s just eat.” Iwaizumi warily picked up his chopsticks.

“I want to be friends with them.” Oikawa wanted to be friends with the white haired one specifically, he was very pretty.

“Same.” Lance thought he could get along with Saeyoung.

“I think you’re kind of like the quiet one Iwaizumi.” Keith began stuffing his mouth with food. He didn’t notice the icy glare that Iwaizumi shot in his direction.

“You’re probably never going to see them again.” Iwaizumi glanced at Tooru.

“You’re probably never going to see me again too Iwachan.”

“Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi looked away and Oikawa leant in to his ear.

“I love you though.”

 

The four boys continued their random banter till they finished their food. And when it was time to leave, they said their goodbyes and went separate ways. But it was only after Keith was outside with his phone in his hand did he realise where he recognised the people sitting behind them at the BBQ.

“I found them.” Keith opened the Mystic Messenger app and the four boys appeared.

“Oh my god you’re cheating on me.”

“Fuck you.” Keith spun on his heel and walked away.

“I’M KIDDING COME BACK MY PAPACITA!”

“…………B YE.” 

**Author's Note:**

> The Korean phrases i used are mostly from kdramas and shit i see because im trash and idk if the spelling is right because romanisation is hard but i tried also some of these have variations in meaning as well im aware of this but i just used them in the context that they're most commonly used (((:  
> Bap jusaeyo - can u feed me  
> Gaesekiya - u son of a bitch  
> Di jillae - do u wanna die  
> Shikuro - shut up


End file.
